You're Going to be a Dad

A year ago today I woke up to the most special news and then I got to share it with my husband.

I woke up early in the morning and snuck out of bed. I went into our second bathroom, test in hand. I took the test and waited. Longest three minutes ever. As I sat there, I said a little prayer. I wanted so badly for it to be our time. I was afraid to look at the test and tried to give myself a pep talk in case God had other plans. 

PREGNANT. That's what the test said. I could hardly believe it. I started crying and thanking God. I was overcome with so many emotions. I was so excited. I had always wanted to be a mom. I was terrified. I had no idea how to be a parent. I was anxious to tell Jesse. I was surprised, I just knew it was going to be negative. I was thankful. 

After I had a moment to myself, I had to be sneaky to prepare a special box for Jesse. Since we had been actively trying, I ordered a shirt and had it already. I had already put the box together in anticipation so I just had to quietly get it from under the bed and put the test inside. 

I woke him up and gave him the box. He opened it, still half asleep, and found the test. I'll never forget. He giggled and said "that's great baby!" He found the shirt inside the box and it read "This guy is going to be a daddy."

It was a beautiful morning and here we are a year later with a beautiful 4 month old daughter! 

Baby Number Two?!

No no. Not yet. But sometimes we talk about it. In the distant future we talk about having a second child (sometimes Jesse even mentions a third!) 

Tonight, I can't even fathom a second. My heart is so full. Most of the time when I'm with Wesleigh I feel like my heart could just literally explode. 

I know mothers everywhere have more than one child and I know they say their love just grows and they welcome in a second child. But how?! 

(Tonight) I cannot even imagine having any more room in my heart for another child. How insane does that sound? 

I'm sure when the time comes we will both be so thrilled. We will buy Wesleigh every big sister shirt we can get our hands on. We will get out all of our newborn and baby things and oooooh and ahhhh over it all over again. We'll pick a name and we'll setup a nursery. We'll do everything we can to prepare ourselves to become a family of 4. 

And I'm sure baby #2 will come and I'm sure that our hearts will grow and we will love him or her just as much as Wes. We will be over the moon with excitement as baby #2 reaches milestones, just as we are for Wesleigh. This second child that will almost definitely make their way into our family will be one loved little person. 

But tonight, Wesleigh is the only little baby I need. She's the only one my heart has room for right now. I want to enjoy and cherish every little second. I want to soak her in. I want to learn every little expression, every giggle, every little freckle, her likes and dislikes. 

Never in a million years did I think I would be questioning my want for more children. I have always wanted 2 or 3. But now that we have a daughter, who to us is just perfect, sometimes it's hard to think of how my heart could ever make enough room for another. 

But I'm sure it will... one day.

Rolling Over

It's true what they say... Kids grow up in the blink of an eye! 

I know, she's only 3 months old, but it feels like the months are flying by. 

She already has so much personality! She giggles and it is the best sound I've ever heard. She jabbers; all the time. I wonder what she's saying! She is grabbing things and chewing things. She responds to her surroundings. It's all so bittersweet! 

Yesterday, she hit a big milestone! She rolled over!! Back to belly. She's been working hard at it for a couple of weeks and yesterday it finally happened. It feels a little silly to be so excited over it but I am quite literally so proud! I cried. I'm that mom. And I caught it on video so every time I watch it I get teary eyed all over again. 

Her next big task will be mastering the art of crib sleeping. I'm not ready but she's quickly outgrowing her rock n play. Hopefully it's a smooth transition but I foresee  some sleepless nights in our future.

Wesleigh will be 4 months old next weekend, can you believe it?!