I mean, my heart literally feels like it might explode from both. Explode.
I never knew what motherhood could do to a person. I always wanted to know. Nothing could prepare you for the emotions. No classes. No mom blogs. No "back in my day" stories. No nothing.
Motherhood is work. Hard work. But it has got to be one (if not the) most rewarding titles ever.
I cannot even begin to describe to you the pure joy my daughter brings to my life. There are no words. She is this tiny, little ball of contagious happy. It is mind boggling, yes, still, almost 8 months later, that we made her. My genes and Jesse's genes collided to make this beautiful little life. And she is our greatest joy. A joy so big that my heart literally feels like it will burst. A love that feels like it cannot be contained.
Then there's heartache. My dad is dying. The very thought of it makes me feel like, you guessed it, my heart might explode.
I get in these places sometimes where it's all I can think about. When will it happen? Where will I be? How? (Cancer obviously but what exactly will be the tipping point?)
Holidays and special days are both fantastic and hard all at the same time. I love making the memories, especially with Wesleigh. She may not remember but we can tell her and thanks to photos we can show her. But then there is always the lingering thought of "is this the last..."
I just can't imagine a world without my dad. I don't want to.
So one day my tombstone might read "heart exploded" because I have all the joy in the world from my family and all the suffering I can bear.
