March has been an awareness month for us for (almost) 7 years. This year, March will have two awareness ribbons (stay tuned for a colon cancer awareness post!).
March is TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY AWARENESS MONTH. Jesse has suffered from and lived with a TBI since May 2007. Really, we're lucky. Lucky that he's recovered so well, lucky that he's able to lead a normal life, lucky that he's alive. God was surely watching over him May 4, 2007.
I know most people in our lives know his story but I'd like to share it anyway. I'll try to be brief!
It was the day after his 18th birthday and the day school was officially over for the summer. We had survived our first year of college and were looking forward to many trips to see one another. We had been dating 3 months.
Jesse made it safely back to Georgetown and went out to dinner late with his sisters and one of their friends. I had called him and he told me he was on his way home and would call me back. It got later and later and I hadn't heard from him. I must've called a million times before I fell asleep. Finally, at almost midnight my phone rang. "Hello, I'm calling from University Medical Center Brackenridge. Do you know Jesse Hanrahan?" After telling the nurse that I was his girlfriend, she only wanted to know if I knew who he was with. She offered up no other information except that he was in a car accident and was at the ER. I wasn't family, I didn't get to know anything more.
I hung up the phone and let out the eeriest scream my mother said she has ever heard. I woke my parents. I couldn't really tell them anything so my mom called the number back and got directions. We threw on clothes and got in the car. My dad drove us an hour (longest one of my life) to the hospital. By the time we got there, Jesse's dad was there and told the staff I could go back and see Jesse. In fact, I think he was a little relieved because Jesse's mom was in Dallas and he had two kids in the ER to look after himself. I was able to sit with Jesse while he tended to Alysse (Jesse's sister). I remember so vividly that night. The doctor sat me in a chair. She told me all of the things wrong with Jesse; it wasn't a short list. Before she took me back she said, "He won't look as handsome as the last time you saw him." She was right. He looked terrible. Tubes everywhere. Blood everywhere. Cuts and bruises. He suffered from: a TBI, a kidney lac, a broken tibia and fibula, a gash on his forehead, cuts and scrapes on his arms and hands, a fractured orbital bone (his eye was as big as a golf ball and every shade of blue and purple). He was sedated but started to get rowdy while I was sitting alone with him. I remember pinning him down on the bed while I called for a nurse. He was trying his darnedest to pull his tubes out. I remember sitting by him, so scared, talking to him, telling him I was there and that I loved him and needed him to be ok. I was running my hands through his blood soaked hair. Taking in all of his injuries. When the OR was ready, they wheeled him out.
He was in surgery for his broken leg. He stomped on the brakes so hard during impact that he snapped his lower leg in half. I just sat in the waiting room. I couldn't believe this was happening. When he came out of surgery, my parents took me home. The last thing I wanted to do was leave. I went home, showered, took a quick nap, ate and headed back. The ICU nurses let us go back and stay longer than I think was allowed. I found out that the surgeons wanted to remove part of Jesse's brain because of the bleeding and swelling. Mike told them absolutely not. So we waited. I remember calling his parents so many times asking if they had woken him and taken him off the sedation. When they finally did, I was there and I was shocked.
Jesse couldn't make a coherent thought. He couldn't say my name. He knew what he was trying to say but it was coming out a jumbled mess. He couldn't read. He couldn't write. He couldn't do math. He couldn't communicate.
After what seemed like forever and was probably really closer to a month, Jesse was released into rehab. He had relearned my name, the biggest victory for me so far. He could speak but he wasn't making sense. He spent some time in inpatient rehab. Once he was released he spent time in outpatient rehab. He slowly learned to write, to read, to do math.
I was in complete denial about him returning to school. I thought come August we'd both be back at Schreiner. He was going to be living in the apartment across the walk. We were going to be seeing each other every day. I didn't want to go back without him. August came and I went to school and Jesse went to rehab. He eventually spent 6 months at a rehab faculty in Dripping Springs. The CORE setup specific rehab for his case and gave him responsibilities around the facility. I made many two hour trips there and back with Jesse in tow on the weekends. Quite a different experience checking your boyfriend out of rehab for a couple days and then checking him back in.
He overcame so much. I am one proud wife! He went back to college, after he was told he never would, and he earned a bachelor's degree. He worked harder than most to achieve his goals. He never let any of it stop him.
Jesse never complains. I think I can count on one hand the number of times he was aggravated by any of it.
It was hard. We had to play a lot of games of guess what Jesse is trying to say. We had to watch a math major count on his fingers. We had to watch Jesse struggle to read children's books.
It was the biggest challenge either of us has gone through. But here we are today! Jesse still struggles a bit with all of these things; reading, writing, finding words. He has vision and hearing loss. He has short term memory problems. But he's here. He's living. He's reaching goals and working towards dreams.
I am thankful everyday that God let me keep him. In that moment, in the ER, holding his hand, I knew he was my forever. Whatever the outcome of any of it. He was mine.
He will be an inspiring role model for our kids. He is proof that hard work and determination pay off.
My husband is a living, breathing TBI success story.
So this month, more than others, we're going to celebrate his accomplishments. If you know someone with a TBI, be patient with them. Help them. Be there for them. It is not easy on the survivor or the caretakers but together people can make it through!
