It finally happened. 299 days. I needed to call Dad and couldn't.
I've been away from the blog for a while. To be honest, we've been busy and who wants to read about grief all the time anyway?
I love to share memories of Dad. I think about him every day. I miss him more than anyone could know. I want to text him pictures of Wesleigh. I want him to spend holidays with us. It's so incredibly hard to just keep living life without him here to share it.
Today, after 13 years of driving, I ran out of gas somewhere. I had switched cars for my Dad's truck to haul some pavers home from Lowes and just out of hurry didn't realize I was driving on fumes. Made it to Lowes and loaded up the car only to get back in and have the truck not start.
That's when I needed to call Dad. He's the one I would've called, had he been here. Even after getting married, he's the first I would've called to rescue me.
I would love to talk to him daily. I yearn to hear his voice or see his name on my phone screen, sending me a picture of Newman, asking for a picture of Wesleigh. But today, I REALLY needed him. It was the first time he couldn't just come when I couldn't help myself and nobody else was around.
Thankfully, there was a gas station right next to Lowes. I went inside, bought a gas can and walked over to fill it. A nice cashier showed me how to use it (kinda complicated actually) and I was able to put gas in the truck. It started. Away I went.
It's weird the moments that can smack you in the face with grief. 299 days. It's not any easier than day 1.
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