Being a NICU Mom

We were thrust into the NICU life because baby girl had a bowel movement in utero. After being assessed, the NICU team diagnosed her with distressed breathing so Wesleigh was taken to be monitored.

I never in a million years thought I'd be a NICU mom. It's one of the hardest roles I've had.

When we first got to the NICU, it was four hours after delivery. I had to wait four hours to see my baby. Even then, we only got to stay thirty minutes. She was hooked up to several things: an IV, EKG leads, an OG tube, and oxygen. It was scary to see such a little person hooked up to so many things.

I hardly slept a wink after we had to leave the NICU because Wesleigh's hand IV had come out. After two hours of sleep, I woke up a hormonal crying mess. Of course I woke Jesse and then the nurse came in. I'm sure I scared them both. After the nurse checked my vitals, we hurried off to the NICU.

After a day in the NICU, I knew I wouldn't be a big fan. Some of the nurses were fantastic, but some of them acted like we were a nuisance. I know they see plenty of babies in their line of work but this baby was ours. They each had their own ways of doing things. We'd be doing something one way, then a shift change would happen and the new nurse would correct us. 

It was exhausting. 

Not to mention, trying to breastfeed was tough. It was such a process. Get chairs, get screens, get a breastfriend, I needed a nipple shield. And after all of the preparation, Wes would latch and nurse for 5 minutes then fall asleep. Really asleep. The lactation consultants couldn't even get her to budge. So I pumped. And I pumped and I pumped and I pumped. My milk took FOREVER to come in. In fact, it didn't really until we got home. 

Because Wesleigh wasn't gaining weight, we made the decision to start formula. It's not something we wanted but it's what she needed to get home. I thought I would be devastated that one more thing wasn't going according to plan. It was the opposite. I guess as a mom all that goes out the window when you have to decide what would be best for your child.  So we kept trying to nurse but mostly we formula fed. 

I will never forget the worst day of the NICU stay was Wednesday, the day before we got to leave. The new nurse was not my favorite. The hospital had a cool program that allowed nursing mothers to stay at the hospital as more of a hotel guest than a patient as long as there was a room available and a patient didn't need it. I was lucky enough to get to do this. 

On that day, the doctor had let me know that Wes was going to room in with me so they could watch her off the monitors. Not even two minutes later I got a call saying to pack my things because they needed the room. Talk about a hormonal swing! I panicked and I fell apart.

It was my first day alone, Jesse had gone back to work. I knew he wouldn't be able to come so I called my mom. She hurried to the hospital and stayed until I calmed down. Supposedly because we were going to room in my status had changed at the hospital and they weren't supposed to just kick me out. I waited in limbo all day... With a nurse who seemed to hate everything I was doing. She even questioned what kind of bra I had on.

Finally they gave me a room that wasn't going to be used because of some faulty equipment. Fine by us, we just needed the bed. They told us Wes would be discharged Thursday (probably) so Jesse took off and came to stay with us Wednesday night. 

Thursday morning we were all ready to go when the new nurse (whom I loved) told us Wes' weight was still a concern and we may be staying. 

Thankfully, the NICU pediatrician said we could go because we'd be seeing our pediatrician the next day. We were ecstatic!

Our birth photographer even came and took some extra pictures of her since we missed out on delivery day.

We all put on our going home outfits, Dallas Cowboys attire for everyone, and by lunchtime we were all three home!

I know in my mind that it could've been so much worse. Some of those babies were so tiny and so sick. But in my heart, it felt like the end of the world. 

I'm so thankful that Wes is thriving and doing so well. So now, here we are, just trying to get the hang of parenting; glad that we can put our NICU parent hats back on the rack!