Motherhood... Thus far.

Let's face it, there's A TON of parenting advice out there... from the internet, from grandparents, from family members, from friends, from perfect strangers! Do this, don't do that. That's wrong, this is right. Try this, try that. You should [fill in the blank]. In my day, [insert advice].

I don't know a whole lot about motherhood so far but here's the main thing I've learned: Do what works for your family! (except the obvious harmful to baby things)

So here's what else I know:

Things don't go as planned. It seems since labor nothing has gone exactly like we've planned. I didn't plan on being induced. I didn't want an episiotomy (but let's face it, at almost 10lbs it wasn't the worst thing). I wanted an epidural but it quit working. We didn't intend on a NICU stay. Those are just things that happened in the first week! I guess our new family motto should be: Just go with it. We're finding more and more that with a baby, it's hard to make steadfast plans and things sometimes go awry. 

Feed your baby. It doesn't matter how you do it, just get your baby nutrition. This seems to be quite the touchy subject in mommy-land. I never intended on Wesleigh having formula. When you're in the NICU and your baby needs nourishment to get discharged, you'll try just about anything. I'm not less of a mom because my kid had to be on formula for 2 weeks. And if you use it for longer, you're not a bad mom either. I never intended on being a pretty much exclusively pumping momma. But I am. It's more important to me that Wes gets breastmilk than where she gets it from. Bottle or boob, she's getting my milk. I've got a lazy eater. Hell, we even have to pester her to keep her awake to eat from a bottle. Does pumping suck? Sometimes. Is it a bit inconvenient? Sure. But I'll be a working mom soon enough and my child will be drinking pumped milk from a bottle anyhow. Because I started pumping so early, I've got a pretty nice stash saved up so I won't have to stress as much about producing enough milk for daycare and hopefully we can keep her off formula for good (it's expensive!). 

What works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. This could be applied to anything baby related. Anything. Diapers, feeding, sleeping, soothing, cleaning, clothes, activities, childcare, discipline... In our house, my husband and I even do things differently. And while I struggle sometimes to let him just do things his way when he's helping, he's the dad and he can do things however he wants (except that whole no dangerous things thing again). For instance, I like to hold Wesleigh and snuggle her up to put her to sleep. He likes to put her in her sleeper and rock her. I tend to use a big glob of butt paste, he's not as generous. The point is, she's still getting her butt slathered with cream to prevent diaper rash. 

Bodily fluids are just a mom's new accessory. I assume that in a day's span I will inevitably be wearing some form of fluid that comes out of my child. Spit up: check. Pee: check. Poop: that too. At some point in the past 6 weeks, I have worn all three (and so has dad). 

All babies are different. Again, what works for one, might not for others. I heard nothing but rave reviews for Tommee Tippee bottles. So Tommee Tippee we bought. Turns out, Wesleigh does not do so well with Tommee Tippee bottles. The mouth is a bit too wide for her and milk was just spilling out the sides of her mouth. So back to the store we went. She does better with a regular ol' nipple like Dr. Browns. Most babies her age sleep a lot. She's not really into that. During the day, she prefers to fight sleep... and she's really good at it. But at night, she sleeps like a champ. While it'd be nice to have a little more down time during the day to do housework or something, I much prefer our odds that since she already likes to sleep at night, when she's a little older, she'll continue to do so. 

Baby nails are a tricky business! It's one of the most terrifying things about newborns in my opinion. What if you cut too close? What if baby moves and you clip skin? I've used the nail file because it's so risky.

While there are some subjects I'll never be swayed on (vaccines and co-sleeping..) lots of parenting topics are totally customizable to each family and each child. 

And we haven't even scratched the surface of parenting lessons. We're just getting started. We'll still have to face potty training, discipline, school, bras, periods, boys! religion, extracurriculars.. the list is endless. But we'll find what works for us. And while the resources and the advice (solicited or not) are helpful starting points, until we've tried things for ourselves, we won't know what works best for our family. 

The most important thing that I've learned thus far, the thing I learned on day one: there's nothing quite like the love you have for your child. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. I would go to the ends of the Earth to help her, to comfort her, to keep her from pain and disappointment. I would take on all the bad she'll ever experience (and let's face it, life is rough, there will be pain) if it meant she wouldn't have to spend one second feeling it herself. You want only what's best for them and you'd do just about anything to ensure it. You worry. You feel the weight of the world on your shoulders to make all the "right" decisions for them. At the end of the day, all we can do is pray for her and love her. And boy do we love her!

I've also learned that it is entirely possible to love your spouse even more just because of how much they love their kids. 

So here's to watching her grow and doing the best we can! She's already changing so much! She's more alert. She makes the cutest little happy noises. We're on the verge of real, honest to God smiles... not just from gas. She's so strong she'll be rolling over soon enough. She's starting to recognize and follow more. And she's growing like a weed!